As a supply teacher I have good and bad days depending on the school I'm working in. Most days I come home feeling tired, but satisfied that I've had a good day. Today was not one of those days!
I only worked this afternoon, but the kids in the class I had were a nightmare. The muggy weather had hyped them up and they were so loud. The teacher had left vague plans, which always cause problems and the teaching assistant was inexperienced and quite frankly, useless. I got through it somehow, by over praising the good kids and keeping my cool with the naughty ones.
Anyway my point is, a day like this at work has a knock on effect with my home life. Not only did I feel exhausted when I got home, but I felt really upset. All I wanted to do when I got home was to cry and lay in a dark room, the massive headache didn't help.
Luckily I have a wonderful husband and he cooked dinner and took our daughter to bed. But I felt incredibly guilty that I was in such an emotionally negative mood, all because of work.
In an ideal world, I'd be a stay at home mum, so that I could pour all my energy and emotions into raising my beautiful girl. But it is not an ideal world and I need to work to earn some extra money, as so many of you do too.
So until I win the lottery or find another job with less stress, I will continue to share my energy and emotional state between a class of unruly kids, who just want their regular teacher to be there more, and my own child, who should come first, but unfortunately because of work doesn't always.
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